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| Copyright 2009 Emotionally Healthy Twins - Joan A. Friedman, PhD All rights reserved. |
I am a mother of 5 children, ages 20, 18, 14 year old girls and 4 year old identical boys. I am very frustrated and don't
know what or where to turn. One of the twins has always been the leader and has bossed his brother since early on. I
have enrolled them in a preschool and this is their 4th week. The boys have seemed to block out the teacher and do
not want to follow rules. They will not give them eye contact and the biggest issue today is S pushed another child
and stomped on the teacher’s foot. S doesn't seem to want to sit at circle time and one day this week he got up and
pulled pictures off of the wall. P then followed him doing the same thing. So in a nut shell they are disruptive to an
existing class. My heart of hearts thinks it is like your book says too much togetherness.
know what or where to turn. One of the twins has always been the leader and has bossed his brother since early on. I
have enrolled them in a preschool and this is their 4th week. The boys have seemed to block out the teacher and do
not want to follow rules. They will not give them eye contact and the biggest issue today is S pushed another child
and stomped on the teacher’s foot. S doesn't seem to want to sit at circle time and one day this week he got up and
pulled pictures off of the wall. P then followed him doing the same thing. So in a nut shell they are disruptive to an
existing class. My heart of hearts thinks it is like your book says too much togetherness.
Don't despair - this is a common occurrence with twins - but you will need to take specific actions so that this pattern is
disrupted. They need to be separated because they are accustomed to feeling very powerful and interdependent
when they act as a duo. They will have difficulty with the separation as they are probably more attached to each
another than to you. Is there any option of a morning or afternoon class? It sounds as if P would like the chance to be
part of the group but is bound by those twin dynamics to join in with S. The optimal thing, if possible, would be to find a
school that has separate classes and initiate each boy slowly into his own classroom. I understand that this might be
difficult but it's essential to do this now so that this dynamic does not continue.
disrupted. They need to be separated because they are accustomed to feeling very powerful and interdependent
when they act as a duo. They will have difficulty with the separation as they are probably more attached to each
another than to you. Is there any option of a morning or afternoon class? It sounds as if P would like the chance to be
part of the group but is bound by those twin dynamics to join in with S. The optimal thing, if possible, would be to find a
school that has separate classes and initiate each boy slowly into his own classroom. I understand that this might be
difficult but it's essential to do this now so that this dynamic does not continue.
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