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| Copyright 2009 Emotionally Healthy Twins - Joan A. Friedman, PhD All rights reserved. |
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We're trying to pick out car seats. We thought about doing two different colors to make it easier to know
which seat is adjusted for which baby, but also so they have their "own" color, etc. But they're babies--what
if they both hate pink and love blue and we get one pink and one blue? Should we just get two the same?
Am I overthinking this? Part of me says, it's part of the car technically and it shouldn't matter. But part of
me wants them to have something more their own. Not a huge thing but just curious what you have to say
on it!
which seat is adjusted for which baby, but also so they have their "own" color, etc. But they're babies--what
if they both hate pink and love blue and we get one pink and one blue? Should we just get two the same?
Am I overthinking this? Part of me says, it's part of the car technically and it shouldn't matter. But part of
me wants them to have something more their own. Not a huge thing but just curious what you have to say
on it!
| As far as the car seat colors, it is a great question. I believe it is important to get two different colors - for the practical reasons that you mention and also for the psychological rationale behind the decision. The girls will not be differentiating their preference for color based upon any aesthetic predilection for quite a while. Certainly when they are older and have more developed cognitive skills, they will be able to decide which colors they prefer. However, at this stage, they will come to identify what is theirs based upon different colors. Initially they will understand the color to mean something that specifically belongs to them. This capacity to differentiate what is mine from not mine is so helpful with the individuation message. If they do tell you later that they hate the color of their car seat you can simply explain the reality of the situation - "that mommy and daddy had to decide by themselves what colors to choose because you could not tell us what colors you liked when you were a baby. Now, that you are older you can help choose the colors of so many things by yourself." |