Blog - Separate Bedrooms - Emotionally Healthy Twins

I read your book and realized so many things that I had never thought about before. I am truly one of those mothers
who have enjoyed the attention of having two adorable girls dressed alike. I see that my girls are not comfortable in
groups of children. They cling to one another and do not interact. The other day I took one daughter to a birthday
party because her sister was ill. The daughter with me would not leave my side and missed all of the fun and
activities. My daughters are almost 3 1/2. They have always shared a bedroom (we have 3 spare bedrooms). We have
not had a lot of 1 on 1 time (although we have tried). I want to change these areas. They like being together and
sharing a bed room. How do I get them ready to move into separate bedrooms and pull this off with the least
amount of pain?

It is never too late to initiate alone time. However, you must be prepared for protests and tears! The girls might
initially resist this change because they are not accustomed to it. With time it is more than likely that you and the girls
will come to cherish the alone time and make it an important part of your lives. As they begin to feel more comfortable
on their own, you can begin to talk about their separate activities and time with you and then gradually move to more
separateness as time goes on. The key is introducing it slowly in tolerable dosages so that the girls do not experience
overwhelming separation anxiety or trauma. You will get cues from them as to how they are adjusting. As time goes
by you can make decisions for them that will help them tolerate being separate. You will begin to see how much they
enjoy being away from one another and having you all to themselves – one at a time.