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| Copyright 2009 Emotionally Healthy Twins - Joan A. Friedman, PhD All rights reserved. |
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I have identical twin girls, Emily and Amber, who are 2 ½ years old and the joy of my life. The challenge I am facing at
the moment with my toddlers is their desperate jealousy of one another for me to hold her and not her sister. I am
battling to split myself in half because the issue is actually that neither of my girls want just half of me, they want
the FULL me without their sister around. Maybe to say more clearly, they both want to be picked up but aren't
prepared for me to pick them BOTH up or sit with both of them on my lap. For example, when I sit down with them to
play a game, we usually don't get far as one tries to sit on my lap, in which case the other one wants to do the same
and neither are happy to share me and it ends in buckets of tears and mini-tantrums at times. Then I can't calm either
of them down because they won't allow me to hold both of them together.
the moment with my toddlers is their desperate jealousy of one another for me to hold her and not her sister. I am
battling to split myself in half because the issue is actually that neither of my girls want just half of me, they want
the FULL me without their sister around. Maybe to say more clearly, they both want to be picked up but aren't
prepared for me to pick them BOTH up or sit with both of them on my lap. For example, when I sit down with them to
play a game, we usually don't get far as one tries to sit on my lap, in which case the other one wants to do the same
and neither are happy to share me and it ends in buckets of tears and mini-tantrums at times. Then I can't calm either
of them down because they won't allow me to hold both of them together.
I was so afraid to follow your advice but understood that I needed to try to arrange some separate time with each twin
even though I was anticipating some resistance and tantrums. I was so pleasantly surprised to experience that finding
a routine and rhythm was easy and incredibly gratifying. Now my husband and I have a wonderful Friday night ritual.
Each of us goes to dinner separately with one son. It is so delightful to have an enjoyable conversation with one child
have to limit your choices to a child friendly place where you eat quickly. The boys are happy to see each other when
they get home to talk about their time with mommy or daddy. Thanks Joan for writing about the importance of alone
time with twins. It is something every parent should try to do whenever they can.
even though I was anticipating some resistance and tantrums. I was so pleasantly surprised to experience that finding
a routine and rhythm was easy and incredibly gratifying. Now my husband and I have a wonderful Friday night ritual.
Each of us goes to dinner separately with one son. It is so delightful to have an enjoyable conversation with one child
have to limit your choices to a child friendly place where you eat quickly. The boys are happy to see each other when
they get home to talk about their time with mommy or daddy. Thanks Joan for writing about the importance of alone
time with twins. It is something every parent should try to do whenever they can.