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| Copyright 2009 Emotionally Healthy Twins - Joan A. Friedman, PhD All rights reserved. |
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I have identical twin girls, who are 2 ½ years old and the joy of my life. The challenge I am facing at the moment with
my toddlers is their desperate jealousy of one another for me to hold her and not her sister. I am battling to split
myself in half because the issue is actually that neither of my girls want just half of me, they want the FULL me
without their sister around. Maybe to say more clearly, they both want to be picked up but aren't prepared for me to
pick them BOTH up or sit with both of them on my lap. For example, when I sit down with them to play a game, we
happy to share me and it ends in buckets of tears and mini-tantrums at times. Then I can't calm either of them down
because they won't allow me to hold both of them together.
my toddlers is their desperate jealousy of one another for me to hold her and not her sister. I am battling to split
myself in half because the issue is actually that neither of my girls want just half of me, they want the FULL me
without their sister around. Maybe to say more clearly, they both want to be picked up but aren't prepared for me to
pick them BOTH up or sit with both of them on my lap. For example, when I sit down with them to play a game, we
happy to share me and it ends in buckets of tears and mini-tantrums at times. Then I can't calm either of them down
because they won't allow me to hold both of them together.
I was so afraid to follow your advice but understood that I needed to try to arrange some separate time with each twin
even though I was anticipating some resistance and tantrums. I was so pleasantly surprised to experience that finding
a routine and rhythm was easy and incredibly gratifying. Now my husband and I have a wonderful Friday night ritual.
Each of us goes to dinner separately with one son. It is so delightful to have an enjoyable conversation with one child
without fighting or bickering. Another great benefit is being able to eat at a much better restaurant since you don’t
have to limit your choices to a child friendly place where you eat quickly. The boys are happy to see each other when
they get home to talk about their time with mommy or daddy. Thanks Joan for writing about the importance of alone
time with twins. It is something every parent should try to do whenever they can.
even though I was anticipating some resistance and tantrums. I was so pleasantly surprised to experience that finding
a routine and rhythm was easy and incredibly gratifying. Now my husband and I have a wonderful Friday night ritual.
Each of us goes to dinner separately with one son. It is so delightful to have an enjoyable conversation with one child
without fighting or bickering. Another great benefit is being able to eat at a much better restaurant since you don’t
have to limit your choices to a child friendly place where you eat quickly. The boys are happy to see each other when
they get home to talk about their time with mommy or daddy. Thanks Joan for writing about the importance of alone
time with twins. It is something every parent should try to do whenever they can.